Okay, so I’m not really sure which direction this post will go, so I apologize in advanced. Sometimes I’ll start writing with a specific point in mind and by the time I’m done writing I’ve completely gone off in an entirely different direction. Sometimes it frustrates me to no end, and other times I learn something new about myself that I wasn’t aware of before.
While Brooke was falling asleep tonight and humming away, this tired mamma was looking at old family pictures. I always keep a couple of treasured photos on my phone of memories that mean a heck of a whole lot to me. They’re not very good quality because I usually just snap a picture of a picture in a photo album and call it day, but their purpose is so much more than just a simple snap and save. There a two very specific photos that I always have on my phone. The one where my grandpa held me for the very first time, and the one of my uncle holding me with his goofy smile that showed off his dimples perfectly. These photos are my daily reminders.
My grandfather was my hero. His name was William, but preferred Bill. To me he was “Pa” and even though I didn’t really notice it as a child, but since becoming a mom I’ve noticed that he really helped shape me to be the person that I am today. The photo that I have saved of him shows off his goofy side. He’s got his tongue stuck out and a crooked smile. This is honestly how I remember him. The one thing he would always say to me is “never get old.” Obviously as a kid you think he’s joking around about himself getting older, and even though he probably was, that saying will stay in my heart and soul until the end of time. I’ve learned from him to keep laughing. Don’t be afraid of life’s obstacles, because truthfully they’re unavoidable. Learn to live through them, embrace them and really experience this life. Don’t become numb to certain situations, learn from your experiences and at the end of the day learn to smile through them. That’s what keeps you alive and young. Age is nothing but a number.
The photo that I have of my uncle is on my phone for the one purpose of making me feel like he’s still close to me. We lost him way too soon, to cancer. I’ll let you know though, that man could fight. I see his determination and those lovable dimples ever single day in Brooke. The way she just simply stares at you mimics his facial expressions perfectly. And honestly, I feel like there is a reason for that. His photo and her similarities remind me that life is too short in general. I’ve come to a point in my life where I will no longer live for someone or something else, other than me and my beautiful family. I use to be so concerned and obsessed with what other people thought about me or what I was doing. Well, fuck that. That’s no way to live. My uncle was known for his “you see what you get” personality. That’s something that I’ve always admired about him, he had the strength to be his own person. That’s something that can often be annoyingly hard in today’s world. That’s what I’m constantly striving for.
So, if anyone of you are reading this and needed a little encouragement in your life. You’re doing great. Live this life for you and the people that mean the world to you. Life is too short to be worried about that next work deadline, or that stressful conference call. Don’t let yourself get old. Stay engaged, and focussed on the things that matter to your soul.